There is one universal rule in life, you learn from your failures, or you let it destroy you. You can look at every time you mess up either as a way of proving that you are never going to succeed, or you can look at it as another opportunity to better yourself. Every time you fail at something, how do you look at the situation? Do you say to yourself that this is just another failure and you are one less failure away from succeeding, or do you moan and wine about how nothing comes right in your life?
How do you hold yourself when things get hard? This is the question that every person should ask themselves because quite often they realize that they are just moaning for the sake of moaning. It's hard, life is hard and you have to accept that, nothing is going to get handed to you, you have to get your head down and grind never looking back at your failures because you cannot travel to road to success when you are looking behind you. When you drive your car, you don't look at your rear view mirror constantly when you're going forward, so why would you do it in your life?
Some of the most successful people on this planet have failed more times than you have had hot dinners. They unlike the general population figured out a long time ago that progress is made through failure, Life isn't a marathon of just ups, and it's formulated through failure, through getting slapped around a lot and getting told no on numerous occasions.
If there is a major goal of yours that you are trying to reach and you fail many many times, just look at it as if you are eventually going to run out of things that don't work, so inevitably you are going to find something that does work.
Read: The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy
Fail and fail forward
Let me give you a classic example of someone who overcame the odds in his life. This kid, he didn't do well at school, he was classed as being slow eligible mentally retarded and as such, he was said to be slowing down the betterment of his classmates. His parents took him out of school and put him to work but he kept getting fired from each job that he took on. Then eventually he found his calling, something that inspired him to be someone, someone who would later be of great significance to the modern world. He burned the candle both ends, experimenting and experimenting, this is a guy who failed at everything in his life.
Another Great Read: The Compound Effect
He failed on one experiment over 10,000 times, when do you fail at something that many times and still carry on? Well this guy did, he didn't give up and kept on failing again and again and again until eventually the light bulb lit up. That was Thomas Edison, inventor of the incandescent light, something that is regarded as must have in these modern times. He created something incredible, something special through pure failure, all because that was his vision and that's what he wanted, but more importantly he knew failure was going to equal success if he kept on pounding at the door.
It doesn't matter what you're trying to do, whether it's coming back from a seemingly untreatable injury, battling with long term back pain, reach a pinnacle point in your life or whatever it is, you have to lay the foundations for a strong positive mental attitude. You have to cultivate the love of failure, knowing that it's not forever, unless you give up that is.If you can learn to see every failure as a blessing and as a stepping stone to success, then you will fail a lot in your life, but fail towards your ultimate goal.
What pulls you, drives you, pushes you?
It might seem like the people around us are very polarized -- some people want to make a difference to the environment, while others want to retire at 50 -- but research shows that humans are actually much more complex and multifaceted than this.
It isn't just one thing that motivates and allows us to make that motivation breakthrough, but many things all at once. Researchers have narrowed down the many motivators to a few distinct categories. If you want to get to that motivation place within, then here are a few pointers that will aid in your self help motivation.
Read: Make it Happen: Surrender Your Fear. Take the Leap. Live On Purpose.
Goal Setting
Setting goals can improve motivation and get you moving. But when setting goals make sure they feel achievable, realistic, and that they really do motivate you. Improving your average sale at work may not push your buttons, though it looks good on a resume -- so what does push your buttons? Saving up for a holiday to Fiji? Taking art classes at night?
These sorts of goals might inspire you to push your average sale up, for example, more than just focusing on improving your work performance.
Goals should feel exciting. They are tied in with your dreams you have for your future. If, however, you find that your goal setting is too daunting or feels to difficult, you may have overreached what you feel is capable and achievable. Instead of writing a novel, maybe just start with a short story.
Then work your way up to 5 stories. Once you have completed 10 stories, even if it takes a whole year, writing a novel may not freak you out. It will probably feel more achievable by then.
Understanding Your Drives
According to a study published by the Incentive Research Foundation in 2011, there are four basic drives that determine human motivation: acquiring, comprehending, bonding and defending.
Acquiring is about the tangible benefits we can gain e.g. money, skills, training, promotions, respect, etc.
Comprehending has to do with doing something we feel is meaningful, such as working with complex ideas, creativity, or participating in a job that makes a difference to the world. Bonding all about friendship, camaraderie, and social connection.
Defending takes into account issues around fairness and justice -- we are more motivated to work with and for people who treat us (and others) well, than those who treat us (and others) unfairly.
While some people may feel they lean more towards one drive than another, the studies show humans actually need a balance of all four areas. Failing in one area can negatively impact how we feel about all other areas. When you achieve a holistic balance of all four drives, you naturally access that motivation place within, make that motivation breakthrough, and become highly motivated.
Read: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable
Teaming Up
Setting goals, chanting affirmations, working on projects -- it all helps, but sometimes you just need a bit more external support.
Some of us thrive from working alone, the triumph is all the more great once you reach the finish line all by yourself. But some of us are team players. Support, camaraderie, creative collaboration -- working with others brings a lot to our lives and the things we are trying so desperately to achieve.
If you are not sure what you prefer, just try it. Invite someone to collaborate on a project, partner up with some like-minded colleagues, or join a group. Not only does this sort of networking provide you wish fresh perspectives and ideas, it also provides accountability. Tell people about your goals and projects.
It can really motivate you to know that someone supports your dreams, and is cheering you on.
Conserving Energy
Increasing motivation is hard when you are tired. Often people are hard-working and dedicated to their goals. But dedication can lead to fatigue, if you don't pace yourself and self-manage your energy output. Even when you love what you do, even when you feel happy and excited, the mind and body need to rest.
Being "on" all the time, or worse, experiencing chronic stress, can lead to fatigue and exhaustion that feels as if it leeches into every part of life. At this point, you need to be realistic. It is hard to be motivated if you have pushed your system too hard.
To increase your motivation, the best thing you can do is take time out and re-fuel. Take a break from your goals, take a break even from your career or job, just for a little while, if it is possible.
People who care about you always want to help out. Ask those around you to share the load, so you can get away for a while. Ask yourself how long -- you know the answer. One weekend? A week? A month?
Soon as you get the rest you need, being motivated and enthusiastic about your goals becomes a whole lot easier.
Sometimes even the most sociable and outgoing people suffer their moments of shyness and self doubt. But if you're someone who always feels this way, then it's time you took action.
If you regularly feel uncomfortable and uncertain in social situations, it can be a crippling and frustrating experience. You want to be more social, but you just can't do it.
The good news is that being more social is something that you can work on improving. Check out the following tips on how to do it.
*** Practice Makes Perfect
Yes, that old saying is still true. With anything in life, the more you do it, the easier and more natural it becomes. The same is true for being more social. It might feel difficult or really frightening at first, but with practice it will slowly become easier and less scary until it becomes surprisingly easy.
The first step to becoming more social is to commit to doing it. This doesn't mean that you have to put yourself completely out of your comfort zone right away, but it does mean that you need to put yourself out there little by little and as often as possible.
'Everything is practice.' -- Peleacute;
*** Change Your Attitude
Many "antisocial" people can be quite critical and negative of both themselves and others. They are antisocial because they are fearful of being judged by others, but at the same time, they are often harsh critics of others.
If you find yourself being critical of others and of yourself, it's important to recognize this and to do some work on changing your attitude. Instead of focusing on the negative in a person, try to actively identify positive things. Do your best to be more open to situations and people. Don't assume that you know everything about everyone based on minor interactions.
'Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.' -- Winston Churchill
*** Accept That It's Not All About You
Many shy people feel so self conscious because they are constantly worried that everyone is looking at, judging, or watching them.
Read: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
Generally, people are much too wrapped up in their own lives and concerns to notice too much about what is going on with another person. Most people are usually too busy worrying about themselves and their own lives than to be spending a lot of time judging you.
'At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.' -- Ann Landers
*** Make a Change Plan
How are you going to work on being more social?
Start with small steps. Strike up conversations with the people you interact with on a daily basis. It could be the cashier from the supermarket, the person you buy your lunch from, or a coworker you always see in the break room.
Spend time with your more social friends. Force yourself to do things with them that you wouldn't normally do. They are your friends, so they will be there to support you if you start feeling insecure or alone. When you are invited to do something, accept the invitation. Don't let yourself make up a lot of excuses about why you can't. You really can change, so make a change plan, and stick to it!
'The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.'
-- Alan W. Watts
*** Work With a Therapist, Counselor, or Life-Coach
Turning to a professional can really accelerate your social progress. An experienced therapist, counselor, or coach can help you overcome your difficulty and make being more social much easier. With the right therapist, you might be surprised at how rapidly this can be accomplished.
In the end being more social really is down to you and your commitment to making it work. Think about the hardest thing you have ever learned to do. At first it might have seemed impossible, but each time you did it, it got easier and easier. Becoming more social works in a similar way.
Take small steps every day and in no time you'll be a much more sociable person, and feel a whole lot happier for it!
There are many books available today that are motivational, inspirational and informational in regards to boosting your confidence level. Many of these tips range from being aware of your strengths and celebrating them to focusing on what makes you happy. While these tips are helpful and can strengthen your self-confidence, if you don't have the foundation for practices to be built upon, then many of these tips will not be long lasting. This can cause a tremendous amount of frustration for those that are using these tips and are not seeing any permanent improvement in their own level of self-confidence. The foundation that needs to be in place before using a process to increase your confidence level is adopting the mindset of being unconditionally responsible. Being unconditionally responsible means that you understand you are the creator of your experiences, whatever they appear to be. You come to know that you had a hand in influencing the reality of your experience. When you embrace this frame of mind, you actually empower yourself because you can then begin to come to the understand that if you created or at least influenced your experience, you create it differently if you don't like what you are currently experiencing. With that understanding, you begin to feel less like you are a victim to your circumstances and you actually have some say in what happens to you, the "good" and the "bad". Embracing that you are responsible for what you create/experience is the beginning of the core foundation for having self-confidence.In addition to being responsible, you must also be unconditional. This is important because being unconditional allows you to have the courage to look at your reality and what you are experiencing, and what you do to create/influence your reality. Being unconditional means you are not judging what you are experiencing and what you have created. There is no lesser or greater; it just is what it is. Look at all of your experiences in such a way as they are there only to clarify what you say you want in life and how you want to experience that life. Sometimes, you can't know what you want until you experience what you don't want. Judging the experience as something that you did or didn't deserve, only keeps you from receiving the empowering message and insight that would allow you to move to the next level in understanding what you do need to do to have the kind of experiences you would love to have. If you look at your experiences as just experiences, then releasing the judgment will truly build up your self-confidence because you are no longer repeating and reinforcing limiting and self-deprecating thoughts to yourself that tear down your confidence.When you know that you can make no mistakes when it comes to the experiences in your life, there is a certain type of freedom you have that no one can take away. This brings up the third point of that unconditional responsibility foundation. Even though nothing you do is cause for judgment, it does not mean that you are released from any damage or harm that you would cause on another. If you have harmed another, you must be responsible for that damage you caused them. The great news is if you had the power to cause the harm, you have the power to fix the harm you caused.Building self-confidence is simpler than you may feel if you have the foundation of unconditional responsibility firmly in place. With that foundation in place, any other tips you may receive later on will be more long lasting and more effective in raising your confidence level to even greater heights.
This writing is an excerpt taken from the interview of Bill Bartmann, a self-made billionaire. This interview comes from inside the minds of mega achievers within Quanta. Quanta is a personal development company co-founded by Jim Britt and Jim Lutes, two world renowned personal development experts.In business there are enemies. First, let me tell you who the enemy is not. The enemy is not your competition. The enemy is not your tax man or government. The enemy is not your spouse. The enemy is not the bills as they come rolling in month after month. Your biggest and worst enemy is YOU. Being successful in your business is not a coincidence. It does not happen by chance. Upon several discussions with very successful business owners, offline brick & mortar owners and online Internet marketing owners, these 6 traits continue to exist over and over again.These 6 traits exist in us already. You don't have to buy them, you don't have to subscribe to them, you don't have to sign up for them, you don't have to opt-in for them. You already possess them. The key is figuring out how to use them.Per Bill Bartmann, these are the 6 characteristics of successful people.1. You have to think BIG. If you want more than you have now, you have to think bigger than where you presently are. Give yourself permission to think big. You have met the enemy and he is US. Most people are just trying to survive, when you should be thinking THRIVE. The 'ole saying 'if you shoot for the stars and land on the moon', you still have succeeded. 2. Believe in yourself. I'm not talking about an arrogant belief that your better than anyone else, or your smarter than anyone else. I'm talking about an inner belief that you have the skills, experience, and attributes to do what it takes to get your where you want to go. Believe you are unique and have the special skills you need and are capable of putting those skills to work for you.3. Share the vision. When you have this big dream, big idea, big goal, tell everyone. Share what you want, share what you hope for, share your desires and dreams. When you do this one of two things will happen. The people closest to you that love you will help you or the people that don't love you will laugh at you. Both of these are good. The people that laugh at you are great motivation.4. Focus. Focus on your specific plan or goal. I'm talking about that one particular goal, not trying to achieve several things at once. If you do several things and not focus on one particular goal, you will probably wind up doing several things badly. Forget multi-tasking. Take that one particular task and perfect it. Don't waste time trying to be good at several things. Everyone has a certain skill level to be good at least one or two things. Find yours, focus on it, and perfect it. Narrow the vision, narrow the target, and focus your skill and energy on that target.5. Execute. It doesn't matter how big you think, or how much you believe in yourself, or if you've shared your vision, or how focused you are if you don't execute. Get off the couch and go take action. You will never have all the answers, but you have to use what you have. 6. Never Give Up. You will face obstacles. You will face challenges. You will encounter setbacks. You will have unexpected occurrences that will try and knock you down. But don't give up, don't ever give up. No matter if the obstacle was your fault or someone else's, don't quit. The only time you lose is when you don't get back up.As Bill, states these 6 traits are already within you. It's how you use them that will determine your destiny.
Education is not just about sitting in front of books and reading about the world and how it works. True education offers the opportunity to see the world first-hand, and to learn up close about those things. Viewing something in person rather than just reading about it allows for greater memory retention. Learning information by reading is suitable for many situations, but learning by seeing with one's own eyes is irreplaceable.
Choosing Where to Go
When you are planning a homeschooling class trip, the first thing you need to do is to choose where to go. Perhaps you are studying a particular subject and would like to explore it further. Maybe your child has expressed a keen interest in a certain subject and would like to pursue it outside of their regular studies.
You may have a friend who works in an interesting field that can give you connections to a location you may otherwise not be permitted to go to. Maybe you need a break from the usual routine and have a fun idea in mind. For whatever reason you are going, choosing a place to go is your first step.
Choosing Who to Go With
Does your child learn best when alone, and only with their siblings? Or maybe your child is very sociable and this could be an opportunity for them to get together with some of their fellow homeschooling friends. Decide if you would like to take anyone else along and if so, invite them.
Choosing How to Prepare
Depending on where you go, there are a variety of things you can do to prepare for your class trip. Maybe you will do a quick study on the location or subject, if you haven't already. You will want to gather any materials you plan to take on the class trip, and make copies for anyone who is going. For example, if you are going to a bird sanctuary, you may wish to take supplies such as pens, paper, and a list of birds to look for.
Read: Do It Yourself Curriculum - Fun-Schooling with Minecraft: 400 Homeschooling Lessons (Homeschooling with Minecraft) (Volume 1)
Choosing How to Record
Before your class trip, let your child know how you expect them to record their experiences. Recording an experience can help your child to remember what they saw and retain more details. You can choose from a variety of ways, such as making written notes, or drawing pictures. You can turn a class trip into a scavenger hunt for the children in order to make it even more exciting, with a list of pictures or items to check off when found.
Choosing How to Review
After the class trip is done, review what you experienced a day or two later. Ask your child questions and help them to remember both the obvious and the obscure details. Reviewing what was learned on your class trip will help your child to remember what he or she experienced even into further the future than they normally would.
Class trips are a fun and exciting way to promote learning and bring new experiences to your children. Seek out a variety of places that would be a good fit for you and your children to see. It will be a welcome break from your normal routine, while expanding their world.
