Forgiveness -- The Eraser of Anger

Forgiveness really is the eraser of anger and guilt. It is the key that opens the shackles of the past and permits us to move on with our life in a freer, far lighter way. Once we realize this we can begin the process of healing that we deserve. 

Keep these approaches in mind as you consider things and move along on your journey of forgiveness: 

-- Your ultimate aim is to release the hurt and the rage that is feeding the pain. Just as you can heal from a painful thorn in your finger by taking it out, so you can recover from a hurtful experience by leaving it behind. When it doesn't have any place deep in your heart and mind, it can no longer fester, and the hurt can finally come to a stop. Choosing to forgive means you allow those bad feelings to leave your life for good.

-- It's essential to replace bad feelings with neutral ones. When the facts remain unchanged, but those facts no longer have the capacity to damage, then you are free of the past. You change from being a victim to the victor. You are human, and it's natural that you can be hurt. People really are resilient, and because you are human you can recover - from a love betrayal or awful, unfair experiences in your life. If you find yourself still reacting, then you have not broken free from the emotional chains of past experience. Through forgiveness you can be free of those toxic reactions. 

-- Humor is a wonderful agent of healing. If you are able to smile about the love that once hurt you, or joke about the years you fought with a sibling, family member, or lover then you trade pain for a different emotion. That heavy load is lifted, substituted by a much lighter new found feeling that can even put a spring in your step. The healing power of forgiveness comes from our ability to move on from our anger and resentment. These emotions don't really hurt those who have hurt us, but nonetheless they absolutely do hurt us. When we forgive we protect ourselves; we clear our mind, our emotions, and a good deal of our time. Focusing on more empowering and positive areas frees and moves away from the event or person who has hurt us. 

Forgiveness removes us from harm's way. As far as we continue to dwell on and focus on hurt in the past, continually reacting to the pain someone has created, we remain emotionally stuck with that person and with what they have done. Forgiveness breaks the chains that lock. With it we take a gigantic step forward with our lives, releasing the negativity and shielding our self from toxic emotional involvement. 

-- Constantly going over a hurtful experience over and again keeps it fresh in the mind, creating mental and emotional upset. Should the topic arise in conversation, it's a lot better to respond with: 'I'm choosing not to focus on that incident. I'm letting it fade from my life, and I'm moving on to happier things.' 

-- One of the most important factors of the healing process is our own self-talk. What we say to our self is the most powerful driving force. Choosing words that feel authentic, we may say: 'I choose to feel wonderful today. Regardless what others may say or do, my happiness comes from within. I alone determine how I feel.' 

Affirmations such as: 'I am now taking care of the child within, and I am doing a really good job. I alone have direct control over my psychological well being. I look at the positive things in life. I wake up every day and focus on things that are beautiful and right.' 

Once we finally come to see that our anger hurts only ourselves, then we are able to arrive at that state where forgiveness becomes reality. Through forgiveness we draw that line under the past and allow ourselves to move on with our life. 

In this state of grace, we can finally move on from the past, and at last begin to live the life with which we have been gifted.

How To Build Confidence - The Foundation You Must First Have

There are many books available today that are motivational, inspirational and informational in regards to boosting your confidence level. Many of these tips range from being aware of your strengths and celebrating them to focusing on what makes you happy. While these tips are helpful and can strengthen your self-confidence, if you don't have the foundation for practices to be built upon, then many of these tips will not be long lasting. This can cause a tremendous amount of frustration for those that are using these tips and are not seeing any permanent improvement in their own level of self-confidence. 

The foundation that needs to be in place before using a process to increase your confidence level is adopting the mindset of being unconditionally responsible. Being unconditionally responsible means that you understand you are the creator of your experiences, whatever they appear to be. You come to know that you had a hand in influencing the reality of your experience. When you embrace this frame of mind, you actually empower yourself because you can then begin to come to the understand that if you created or at least influenced your experience, you create it differently if you don't like what you are currently experiencing. With that understanding, you begin to feel less like you are a victim to your circumstances and you actually have some say in what happens to you, the "good" and the "bad". Embracing that you are responsible for what you create/experience is the beginning of the core foundation for having self-confidence.

In addition to being responsible, you must also be unconditional. This is important because being unconditional allows you to have the courage to look at your reality and what you are experiencing, and what you do to create/influence your reality. Being unconditional means you are not judging what you are experiencing and what you have created. There is no lesser or greater; it just is what it is. Look at all of your experiences in such a way as they are there only to clarify what you say you want in life and how you want to experience that life. Sometimes, you can't know what you want until you experience what you don't want. Judging the experience as something that you did or didn't deserve, only keeps you from receiving the empowering message and insight that would allow you to move to the next level in understanding what you do need to do to have the kind of experiences you would love to have. If you look at your experiences as just experiences, then releasing the judgment will truly build up your self-confidence because you are no longer repeating and reinforcing limiting and self-deprecating thoughts to yourself that tear down your confidence.

When you know that you can make no mistakes when it comes to the experiences in your life, there is a certain type of freedom you have that no one can take away. 

This brings up the third point of that unconditional responsibility foundation. Even though nothing you do is cause for judgment, it does not mean that you are released from any damage or harm that you would cause on another. If you have harmed another, you must be responsible for that damage you caused them. The great news is if you had the power to cause the harm, you have the power to fix the harm you caused.

Building self-confidence is simpler than you may feel if you have the foundation of unconditional responsibility firmly in place. With that foundation in place, any other tips you may receive later on will be more long lasting and more effective in raising your confidence level to even greater heights.

5 Ways to Identify Your Purpose and Unique Talent

How many of you 'get' the concept of finding your passion and building a business around it, but are struggling to make it happen?



I get it. Being told to find your passion is like being told to cheer up when you're feeling depressed. Not only is it not helpful, it's counter-productive because it just makes you feel even more disconnected from your inner gifts.



Wherever you are on the spectrum of finding purpose and meaning through your creative expertise, everything you need is within you. It's just a matter of bringing it to light, little by little.



Here are 5 ways to help you do that:




1) Meditate (any which way you can)



As those of you who've been hanging out with me a while know, I fervently believe personal and professional development go hand-in-hand. If you don't manage your mind someone else will do it for you (and believe me, that's never going to end well!) So how do you do that? Pretty much every entrepreneurial or spiritual leader will tell you the same thing - through meditation.



I know, I know, meditation's hard. Who wants to sit still, trying (and failing) to still their monkey mind, especially when there's so much to do? If sitting still and meditating feels too challenging, try listening to a guided meditation on your cell phone as you walk. Anything that stills your mind, even for a minute, is helpful. One minute a day. We can all try that, right? 




2) Look for ways to feel inspired




I can't tell you how many times I get an idea for a newsletter, talk or program by listening to an interview with someone I admire. In fact, this post was inspired by this Bren & Brown talk. No matter what field you're in, there are thought-leaders and pioneers paving the way. Read their books, go to conferences where they're speaking, watch or read interviews with them. Greatness is contagious, so rub elbows with those who've got it going on.




3) Get input from a trusted partner




The tricky thing about gifts is they come so easily to us, we think everyone possesses them. When in fact, it's precisely that gift that others need, and will pay for. Using a trusted partner as a mirror to help you identify your talents can be incredibly clarifying, so consider recruiting a great client, a supportive friend/accountability buddy, or a coach to help shine a light on it.




4) Identify the problems you are uniquely equipped to solve





The thing that makes your unique gift have value and IMPACT in the world is figuring out what problems you solve, and for whom. Knowing who your ideal client is will give you clarity, purpose and make your efforts all the more effective. Not knowing who your ideal clients are, or how you solve their biggest challenges, is often the missing piece of the puzzle for struggling entrepreneurs or freelancers.

5) Communicate how your ideal client benefits from your gifts

As a result of working with you, will your ideal client:  

- Have a more successful brand 
- Feel healthier 
- Have more free time 
- Make more money 
- Look better

People will only hire you if they can immediately see how doing so will positively transform their life. Take the time to really get clear on these benefits and make those the center of your messaging and content. I promise, it's a game changer. 

I get that there's a lot of information here and putting it all together, in the right order and sticking with it long enough to get results is a tall order. If you're ready to get the clarity you need to align your gifts, message and services with the clients who have the burning desire and money to invest in working with you, then take your time and follow these step. With discipline, determination and perservance you will discover your purpose and unique talents.

5 Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

While for many, self-esteem issues are a transitional part of growing into an adult and finding a place in the world, scientific research studies show that people with continued low self-esteem are also more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, poor physical health, and even a lower income later on in life. 

Those with long lasting issues of low self-esteem know only too well that it is not something you grow out of, but something that sits in the subconscious mind and continues to effect every part of life for years. How then can we enhance self esteem. 

Here are five ways that you can do just that. 

1. Model Confident People  

Noticing what confident people do, how they speak, the ways they behave, can provide vital clues to finding self-esteem inside yourself. Who is the most confident person you can think of? When you have them firmly in your mind, ask yourself these questions: how do they hold their shoulders? How do they stand? How do they walk? What clothes do they wear? How do they behave when with other people? What sort of things do you imagine they say about themselves? And if they were in your situation, what would they do? 

This questioning goes far beyond "fake it till you make it" - it links us into the answers already inside us. Once you have a list of what that confident person would do, go ahead and model this behaviour. Try it on for a few hours, a day, even a few days. Notice how everything you do, and the events around you, begin to change on their own.  

2. Advertise Yourself 

When you have to convince someone else about your strengths, it can have a fantastic effect on your self-esteem. Sitting down and really thinking about all your skills, gifts and talents is a wonderful reminder of all the good things about being you. Try writing an advertisement selling yourself as the perfect partner, house mate, friend, etc, with a full description of why anyone would be lucky to have you around. Don't be afraid to blow your own trumpet. This isn't an exercise in modesty, but in self-esteem. 

3. Work On Your Resume 

Resumes are all about convincing someone to hire your time and your expertise. Giving your resume a regular update can also give your self-esteem a great boost. Alternatively, update your Facebook profile. Strange as it sounds, there is now research from Cornell University in New York to prove that people who view their Facebook profiles more regularly have better self-esteem. You get to go back and view your clever status updates, your significant dates and events, and photos of good times.  

4. Say Positive Things About Yourself  

Saying positive things about yourself, to yourself or others, is important. What we say about ourselves reveals a lot about our level of self-esteem. When we rehearse only what we do wrong, or don't like about ourselves, our brain builds neural pathways for these conversations, till eventually negative self-talk is practically automatic. 

If you are not used to talking about yourself in a positive way, you will simply have to learn how. Keep practicing, choose a few nice things to say or think about yourself and use them as a mantra every day. It can be something you are proud of about yourself, or positive things you remember others saying about you in the past. 

The more you repeat this, the easier the behaviour will become as your nervous system will build more neural connections to this positive self-talk, and less to the negative self-talk.  

5. Is It You, Or Is It Them? 

The people who surround us, at home, at school, at work, or in social settings, can have a huge impact on our self-esteem. Either they will support us, making us feel better about ourselves, or their negativity will bring us down emotionally. This may not be intentional. Some people just seem to notice what's wrong more than on what's right. 

If you find there are people in your life who make you feel bad about yourself, you need to make a decision. Can you counteract the effect they are having with you? Or do you need to do some prunning? 

Do you really need to be around people who make you feel bad about yourself? Choose to associate with positive people that make you feel alive, happy, and optimistic about life.  

Deciding to spend less time with people isn't about making anyone else 'wrong' or 'bad' -- it has to do with making clear decisions about how you want to feel, and asserting your right to feel good instead of bad.

Use these strategies on a regular basis and you really will boost your self-esteem -- and increase your self-confidence.

Personal Development Tips That Will Improve Your Life

Growing to become the best person that you can be is really what personal development is all about. The best way to be successful is with your persona; growth is to learn as much information as you can and to apply that information whenever possible. 

Place your personal central principles into practice. Each person has his or her center of beliefs. Use your faith in these principles to drive your faith in yourself. If you do this you will encourage you to be consistent, it is an great trait to have.

When considering your own personal development, focus on leadership. Leadership has many different definitions, but the common theme is influence. 

Evaluate your leadership skills honestly. 

What experiences have had the greatest impact on your life? 
What kind of skills have you acquired? 
What skills would you contribute to a group? 


Analyzing these questions can help you generate a team perspective and allow you to lead by example.

If you hope to advance your state of knowledge regarding personal development, it can help to show a little humility. When you realize how insignificant you really are, you will begin to understand you have more to learn.

Once this concept is ingrained in your brain, you will be eager to learn new skills and expand your knowledge in order to improve yourself.

You should stay in great physical condition in order to get the best out of personal development.

Simple things such as getting plenty of quality sleep, eating a nutritious diet and exercising regularly will keep your energy levels up and give you a better chance of reaching the personal development goals you have set for yourself. While it appears easy and simple, getting in shape can also be very challenging. 

Create a written pep talk for yourself. On a postcard, write down all of your best qualities. Keep it handy, and when you need a little motivation, read it. For even more powerful results, record a video of yourself reading your list and watch it frequently. Sounds intriguing, right?

Instead of bragging about achievements, you should ask others about theirs.  

Respectfully listening to the successes of others can help you to gain insight into your own inner life as well as allowing you to connect with others in a meaningful way.

Whereas trying to fix your problems yourself is always a great idea, sometimes you might have to seek out professional help.

Self help books are useful to an extent, but they lack the substance or personal touch that a therapist can provide to a patient. There are many times when talking with another person about a stressful situation is the most effective route to relaxation. Reading a book won't let you have a dialog the way therapists do.

You may find it helpful to discuss your issues with a counselor or other trusted professional, such as your pastor. They have a great deal of experience in dealing with personal thoughts and are even licensed to do so. These impartial listeners can provide a sympathetic ear or help you deal with troublesome areas of your life. 

Getting your problems out in the open with a professional should give you a much healthier outlook on your own life.

If you use these tips in this article, you can begin your journey to personal development. Keep current with new information to keep adding to your strategies towards personal development.

Use These 4 Tips To Increase Your Self Esteem

Most people need a little self-esteem boost every once in a while. 

Self-esteem is all about how we feel inside. 

When our self esteem is low, we can find ourselves living with anxiety, we can find ourselves in abusive relationships, and be prevented from reaching our true potential.  

There may also be cons to self-esteem. For instance, when a person's sense of self worth is unrealistically high, it can turn into arrogance or what is known as 'narcissism', and this can cause problems. 

Such individuals can find it difficult to accept and learn from their own mistakes and may develop a false sense of entitlement. 

Developing a healthy level of self-esteem is very important. For some people, a healthy, high self-esteem comes naturally. But for others, developing a healthy self-esteem takes more effort. 

Check out these pointers to give your self-esteem a kick start. 

1. Draw up a list of your best points - For some individuals with diminished self-esteem, even considering making a list of their good qualities seems like a gigantic task, but it can be extremely helpful for boosting self-esteem. If you find this task challenging, consider what others say about you. What compliments have you ever been given? Start with those and then work from there. Jot your good qualities down using "I" and the present tense. For example, "I am a thoughtful and considerate person." 

2. Regular affirmations - Take another look at the list you made. Choose your favorite qualities to use to do daily affirmations. Take those statements and write them down on note cards and sticky notes. Put the sticky notes where you will notice them everyday, such as on your computer monitor, bathroom mirror, or refrigerator. When you see them, take a few moments to repeat them over to yourself. Put note cards in your pocket or wallet where you are sure to come across them at least once a day. When you do, take a moment to read them to yourself a few times. In just a little while you can change out some of your best qualities for some of the other qualities on your list. 

3. Gain some perspective - People often don't talk about their challenges, disappointments, and struggles in life, but that's not because they don't have them. How we decide to tackle these things will directly influence levels of self-esteem, joy and success. The really successful and confident people in life aren't those who have encountered few difficulties and challenges, they are people who have viewed them as just a part of life and have pushed ahead anyway, learning as they go. Your failures don't mean that you are a failure, they just mean you need to reassess the situation and the way you approach it and tackle it from a different angle. 

4. Make yourself the priority - Part of boosting your self esteem is accepting you are deserving of your own love. Make time for yourself. Take care of yourself when you're encountering a trying time. Say 'no' when you have to and don't feel bad about it. Make your needs clear to others and ask for what you need. (If you find it difficult to say 'no', then look for some assertiveness training, or check out a book on the subject.)

Use these 4 simple tips and you will increase your self-esteem. Above all, make sure you are kind to yourself and give yourself just as much love as you give to the important people in your life. You truly do deserve it!

Altering Habits to Improve Your Personal Life

Habits, oh those nasty habits. Habits are developed from coaching, influences, observation, and practice. We develop many habits throughout our life, which some are good and others are bad. 

Good habits we can preserve, but when one needs to improve their life the bad habits has to take a hike. Eliminating bad habits nevertheless shouldn't be straightforward, particularly if an habit is involved. 

For that reason, we will take a few steps to studying how you can change your habits.

Making excuses: Folks wander by way of life making excuses. Anytime a person sees one thing sophisticated, they are going to usually make excuses why they can't cope with the problem. "This is just the best way I am." This can be a common problem in the world, which we have all heard billions of times. 

If you're out to enhance your life nonetheless, it is advisable to say, "This is one thing that hinders me from achievement and I have the power to change it."

The primary key to success is cease making excuses. Discover ways to tell the truth. The truth is the one answer that leads you to improve your private life. 

Once you've been taught to tell the truth, you will want to commit self to studying new behaviors and habits.

You can commit by choosing a new habit. At the moment I plan to drink extra water. Some of us detest water, yet water is our way of living healthier. Instead of detesting one thing that may save your life, begin saying, as we speak I will drink extra water. Even should you start out ingesting a glass for the primary couple of days, you are making changes. 

As we speak I am going to cease judging others and myself. This can be a frequent mistake individuals make within the world. They spend time judging others and themselves. This gets them nowhere however in a world of chaos. It is best to change your ways. 

Do you think negative? I can't change this. My life is filled with nonsense, I can't swing it anymore. Why me? Who put a tag on my head, saying persecute me. If you happen to spend your life considering negative and saying damaging connotations, attempt changing your methods today. As an example, say, I can change something and I'm going to. 

As a substitute of claiming life is stuffed with nonsense, settle for it as fact yet transfer ahead to make your life better. Why me is a typical question, which nobody is aware of why, but now we have to simply accept it, make better decisions and move ahead. If you happen to really feel persecuted, ask you what you're doing that makes you feel this way. 

Do you've gotten buddies or members of the family weighing you down? In that case, then kick their butt down the highway and make new friends. No one in life is worth you struggling ongoing. You've gotten the ability to make modifications, yet you would not have the power to change other
people. 

While you begin to make changes to improve your life, begin small. Instead of leaping the gun, take baby steps to success. Too many instances individuals try to change overnight. This only leads to frustration.

When you're working to alter your life and habits ensure you search support and feedback. You do not need to walk the road to success alone. Feedback is discovered at your library, the Internet, at colleges, and so on. 

Ask someone you belief to help you and offer you feedback when needed also. You'll find help from self improvement programs as well.