Forgiveness -- The Eraser of Anger

Forgiveness really is the eraser of anger and guilt. It is the key that opens the shackles of the past and permits us to move on with our life in a freer, far lighter way. Once we realize this we can begin the process of healing that we deserve. 

Keep these approaches in mind as you consider things and move along on your journey of forgiveness: 

-- Your ultimate aim is to release the hurt and the rage that is feeding the pain. Just as you can heal from a painful thorn in your finger by taking it out, so you can recover from a hurtful experience by leaving it behind. When it doesn't have any place deep in your heart and mind, it can no longer fester, and the hurt can finally come to a stop. Choosing to forgive means you allow those bad feelings to leave your life for good.

-- It's essential to replace bad feelings with neutral ones. When the facts remain unchanged, but those facts no longer have the capacity to damage, then you are free of the past. You change from being a victim to the victor. You are human, and it's natural that you can be hurt. People really are resilient, and because you are human you can recover - from a love betrayal or awful, unfair experiences in your life. If you find yourself still reacting, then you have not broken free from the emotional chains of past experience. Through forgiveness you can be free of those toxic reactions. 

-- Humor is a wonderful agent of healing. If you are able to smile about the love that once hurt you, or joke about the years you fought with a sibling, family member, or lover then you trade pain for a different emotion. That heavy load is lifted, substituted by a much lighter new found feeling that can even put a spring in your step. The healing power of forgiveness comes from our ability to move on from our anger and resentment. These emotions don't really hurt those who have hurt us, but nonetheless they absolutely do hurt us. When we forgive we protect ourselves; we clear our mind, our emotions, and a good deal of our time. Focusing on more empowering and positive areas frees and moves away from the event or person who has hurt us. 

Forgiveness removes us from harm's way. As far as we continue to dwell on and focus on hurt in the past, continually reacting to the pain someone has created, we remain emotionally stuck with that person and with what they have done. Forgiveness breaks the chains that lock. With it we take a gigantic step forward with our lives, releasing the negativity and shielding our self from toxic emotional involvement. 

-- Constantly going over a hurtful experience over and again keeps it fresh in the mind, creating mental and emotional upset. Should the topic arise in conversation, it's a lot better to respond with: 'I'm choosing not to focus on that incident. I'm letting it fade from my life, and I'm moving on to happier things.' 

-- One of the most important factors of the healing process is our own self-talk. What we say to our self is the most powerful driving force. Choosing words that feel authentic, we may say: 'I choose to feel wonderful today. Regardless what others may say or do, my happiness comes from within. I alone determine how I feel.' 

Affirmations such as: 'I am now taking care of the child within, and I am doing a really good job. I alone have direct control over my psychological well being. I look at the positive things in life. I wake up every day and focus on things that are beautiful and right.' 

Once we finally come to see that our anger hurts only ourselves, then we are able to arrive at that state where forgiveness becomes reality. Through forgiveness we draw that line under the past and allow ourselves to move on with our life. 

In this state of grace, we can finally move on from the past, and at last begin to live the life with which we have been gifted.