Use These 4 Tips To Increase Your Self Esteem

Most people need a little self-esteem boost every once in a while. 

Self-esteem is all about how we feel inside. 

When our self esteem is low, we can find ourselves living with anxiety, we can find ourselves in abusive relationships, and be prevented from reaching our true potential.  

There may also be cons to self-esteem. For instance, when a person's sense of self worth is unrealistically high, it can turn into arrogance or what is known as 'narcissism', and this can cause problems. 

Such individuals can find it difficult to accept and learn from their own mistakes and may develop a false sense of entitlement. 

Developing a healthy level of self-esteem is very important. For some people, a healthy, high self-esteem comes naturally. But for others, developing a healthy self-esteem takes more effort. 

Check out these pointers to give your self-esteem a kick start. 

1. Draw up a list of your best points - For some individuals with diminished self-esteem, even considering making a list of their good qualities seems like a gigantic task, but it can be extremely helpful for boosting self-esteem. If you find this task challenging, consider what others say about you. What compliments have you ever been given? Start with those and then work from there. Jot your good qualities down using "I" and the present tense. For example, "I am a thoughtful and considerate person." 

2. Regular affirmations - Take another look at the list you made. Choose your favorite qualities to use to do daily affirmations. Take those statements and write them down on note cards and sticky notes. Put the sticky notes where you will notice them everyday, such as on your computer monitor, bathroom mirror, or refrigerator. When you see them, take a few moments to repeat them over to yourself. Put note cards in your pocket or wallet where you are sure to come across them at least once a day. When you do, take a moment to read them to yourself a few times. In just a little while you can change out some of your best qualities for some of the other qualities on your list. 

3. Gain some perspective - People often don't talk about their challenges, disappointments, and struggles in life, but that's not because they don't have them. How we decide to tackle these things will directly influence levels of self-esteem, joy and success. The really successful and confident people in life aren't those who have encountered few difficulties and challenges, they are people who have viewed them as just a part of life and have pushed ahead anyway, learning as they go. Your failures don't mean that you are a failure, they just mean you need to reassess the situation and the way you approach it and tackle it from a different angle. 

4. Make yourself the priority - Part of boosting your self esteem is accepting you are deserving of your own love. Make time for yourself. Take care of yourself when you're encountering a trying time. Say 'no' when you have to and don't feel bad about it. Make your needs clear to others and ask for what you need. (If you find it difficult to say 'no', then look for some assertiveness training, or check out a book on the subject.)

Use these 4 simple tips and you will increase your self-esteem. Above all, make sure you are kind to yourself and give yourself just as much love as you give to the important people in your life. You truly do deserve it!

Single Moms Being Judged

When someone says in a condescending tone to you, "I never did that, and I raised three kids," or "Well it worked for me when I had young kid," do you ever feel like they are talking down to you? That maybe they don't think you are doing a good job or that you're not a good enough mom? You aren't alone. Many single moms feel the exact same way, but it's simply not true. You are better than a good enough mom. You are a great mom. Just because you don't do things the way someone else thinks you should is not a reflection of you; it's a reflection of them. Yes it might have worked for them, but that doesn't mean it's going to work for you or that you choose to parent that way. You know what's best for you, your kids, and your life.

We've all had someone tell us how we should raise our kids. We should do this or we should do that, because it worked thirty years ago or even ten years ago. It's great that everything turned out wonderful for them, but they weren't a single mom, working a full time job, doing it alone, and with no support or help. More than that, it's really about the tone they use. It's great to get help and advice except when someone is being condescending to you or thinking her way is better.

When you are around other women who talk to you this way, it starts to beat you down and down. It can't help but tear you up, and eventually you will be so tattered and worn that it will take every ounce of you to get back up. You second guess yourself and your decisions, which is already easy to do as a single mom since you don't have someone to bounce your ideas off of. You wonder if you're doing it right, wrong, or even know how to do it. You begin to question every decision you make. Then you feel helpless, worthless, and hopeless as though you can't do anything right, so what's the point in doing anything at all.

When you let other people talk to you this way, they will continue to do so. People talk to you the way you allow them to. When someones tone isn't pleasant, your gut reaction is to be defensive. That only antagonizes the other person usually ending up in a fight.

So when someone says something like this to you, in a friendly tone you can reply, "Thank you for that. I'm so glad it worked for you." Don't get into a long discussion about how you don't agree with it or converse how their method is out of date.

When family members say snide comments, it's best, no matter how hard it is, to let it go. They may think their way is best, and that's fine. You aren't here to prove them wrong. You are here to raise responsible, dependable, trustworthy, loving, and kind children. So no matter the words or tone someone else uses, believe in yourself to know what's best for your kids, and you're doing your best to ensure they have it.

Five Steps To An Easier Life

We are meant to live on this planet with ease and grace. Funny, it doesn't seem that ease happens too often, does it?  Now, 'grace' is the generosity of God that brings us extra goodies whether we deserve them or not. Ease, on the other hand, is something we can bring in for ourselves, mainly by eliminating stress. Who wouldn't want an easier life? I'm sure I do!  Here are five concrete steps you can take towards creating more ease in your life:  

 1. Drink lots of water, preferably R.O. (reversed osmosis) water with liquid minerals added. Your body is made up of water and minerals. In order to process effectively, your cells need lots of water! However, R.O. water has no minerals, so you need to top up your mineral content to support your cells and systems.  

 2. Eat as little sugar (or sweets in general) as possible, and no artificial sugars at all. Sweets mess with your hormone system, blocking your pancreas and thyroid, and triggering the 'fight or flight' response of your adrenals. Release of adrenaline and cortisol automatically puts on weight and makes you exhausted.  

 3. Watch your focus. Whatever you focus on, consciously or unconsciously, that will expand in your life. Worried about paying your bills? The universe says Yes to that, and you get more worries. Afraid of loneliness? The universe says Yes to that as well, and attracts more situations that make you lonely. On the other hand, if you are focused on gratitude, blessings, happiness and abundance, the universe says Yes to those as well. The universe always says Yes, so what is your question?  

 4. Make sure you're YOU at all times! Have you ever found yourself doing or saying something that is just not 'you'? Well, you probably have contamination's from other people that are just not compatible with your inner bio-computers. It's like trying to run a Mac program in a PC computer. Identify and throw them out!  

 5. Live in the Now, rather than the past or future. Now is the only time you can make choices, listen or talk to God, or appreciate your blessings. When you find yourself wandering - and you will - observe the perturbation as if it were a cloud passing by. Worry, fear, pain; oops, there it goes again!  

Now, that all seems pretty straightforward, doesn't it? Drink more water, eat little or no sweets, watch your focus, make sure you're you, and live in the Now. Oh, and decide how great a life you would like, and what that means to you. For some people, a great life is about money or love or family or service or spiritual development What's important to you? Find out the essence of your great life and focus on that!  

The key to finding out what you are here to do is PASSION! (Yes, there is an article about Passion, too.) It's ironic that finding and living your passion depends on a certain level of ease, but there it is. Once you have an easier life, your passion and purpose will naturally bubble up. So make it easier on yourself!

11 Personal Finance Steps for Those Pushing 40

By the time the average person reaches the age of 40, there have been significant milestones reached.

Most are homeowners, have a career, married and had their children. At this point, they are definitely thinking about the future decades in life. 

To be more specific, personal finances.

Emergency fund - If there isn't one already set up, now is the time to make it happen. Without money set aside for unexpected costs, people turn to credit cards or worse yet, payday loans. Going into the second phase of your life with pile of debt or bad credit isn't going to help. Get that emergency fund built so you don't have to depend on third party money.

Insurance - No more putting this one off. Life, disability, and even rental will save you and your family if something really bad happens. 

Shop for the best premiums that will cover all of your needs. 

Retirement accounts - Make the deposits automatic through your paycheck. You will never miss the money nor forget to pay. Too often we save these kinds of payments for anything that is left at the end of the month. It's time to make this payment first on the list. 

Financial Adviser - You may be doing a great job managing your money, but it would be best to sit with a professional and let them look at things. Even a few small tweaks to your plan may make all the difference for your future. 

Check your credit - Make an effort at least once a year to check your credit history. You may need to correct errors, dispute debt that doesn't belong to you or request to remove an outdated negative report. With a free credit check from each of the credit bureaus every 12 months, there is no excuse not to. 

Increase your tax knowledge - Become proficient on income tax. You may save money if you familiarize yourself with all the deductions and credits available to you. Hundreds or even thousands of dollars over the rest of your life add up. 

Invest in a home - If you haven't done so already, it's a good investment for your future. It doesn't fit everyone situation, but if you can, you will provide stability for your family. 

Maximize employment benefits - Does your employer offer to match retirement contributions? What are you waiting for? Other benefits you may be entitled to are; pretax transportation, tuition reimbursement, employee assistance, wellness programs, financial planning and health savings. Your employer may even offer something different. Unless you ask, you may be missing out. 

Make a will - This should have been done in your thirties so get to it. Especially if you have children who are still minors, it is important to spend the time and money and hire an attorney to create a solid estate plan. 

Learn investing basics - You want to make the best choices for your money. The more you know, the smarter those choices will be. Take a personal finance course in your community college to help get you started. 

Pay off your debt - Debt cripples finances. You will limit future plans by carrying past debt. Make a point to steadily payoff that debt and rebuild your credit. You will have more money to invest once it is gone.

How is Your Relationship With Money?

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY...Now this is an interesting topic. Money is a medium of exchange. Money is always flowing from one person to the next. Just like your breath, money flows in and money flows out, constantly. Money is a necessity.

So you ask, "If money is a medium of exchange, what is changing hands?" Money is measured in terms of value. One is receiving a certain item, or service, or good in exchange for payment for that certain item or service or good. You are giving up your payment in the form of money and receiving a certain item or good or service in exchange.

The payment itself, the actual money or coin or paper (whether its dollars, euros, etc.) has no value at all. But when that money is given in exchange for a particular item or service, the value or cost becomes established.

Did you know that how you look at money, or how you view money, affects how much money you have? And it affects at what rate, or how fast or slow you accumulate it...

For example, when money is viewed negatively, such as, "Money is the root of all evil", or "Money doesn't grow on trees", then this negative view of money will usually have a detrimental effect on your accumulation of it...

However, if you have a positive view of money, then generally you will have a tendency to accumulate lots of it.

For example, do you view money as something healthy? Something you can use to benefit others? If this is your view, you will be a good service provider. In other words, if you are the seller or provider of goods or services, you usually will provide great value on that good or service.

Great providers of value will accumulate lots of money.

Money as a medium of exchange is determined by the value placed on the item or service being purchased. In short, everyone is looking to spend money because it takes money to survive. But what everyone is really looking for is getting the most VALUE for your money.

When was the last time you were at a restaurant, took a look at the menu and said, "I'm not paying that for that?"....Well, you just placed a value on that item. You are not willing to part with your hard-earned money for the value received.

A different perspective is placed on the value when an item or service or good is recommended by others. Before you even sample the item or service you already have an increased value in your mind. You are thinking that "If its good enough for Joe, then its good enough for me" or something like that.

Did you also know that your relationship with money, or your view towards money can be programmed into your subconscious mind? In order to attract more money you will have to change your views toward money.

Budget Tips: Find Ways to Better Manage Your Money

When your wallet is tight, it is time to scale back the budget. Fixed expenses are not the easiest to pare back on unless you downsize your home. Discretionary spending is the perfect place to start. There is a lot of wiggle room with money spent on costs above and beyond what you need to survive. With one significant change, a wallet will loosen up to a more comfortable spot. If several changes are made money worries will remain in the past.

Where can you make cutbacks to support a budget's success? Food costs - The amount spent at the grocery store along with dining out puts the food budget way over the amount it needs to be. A contributing factor is the habit of convenience. Whether the excuse be no time to plan or cook or just too tired by the end of the day fall back to convenient methods of pre-made foods. Whenever food is purchased ready to eat, you have paid for someone else to cook for your family. It's an expensive and often tough habit to break.

Cell phones - These luxuries are often seen as necessities. If you truly don't want to go without your cell phone, learn to negotiate a better plan. There are too many companies out there to settle with one high price plan. Just because you have been with your carrier for a long time, it doesn't mean you have to stay there. The competition is fierce. There are companies that will pay your cancellation fee in order to give you a cheaper plan. Call your carrier and try to negotiate a lesser rate if you truly don't want to change.

Utility programs - You have choices here too. Don't let longevity keep you with a higher priced company. Many electric companies offer assistance to lower income households. There are also lower cost incentives when you make energy friendly upgrades to your home. There are some companies that will call and offer the program to you, but don't wait on them. Call your utility companies and find out what programs you may be eligible for.

Insurance deductions - Set up a meeting with your insurance agent. Go through car, home, life and disability plans to find ways to cut back. If your car is older now, you may not need as much collision insurance. It is wise to have insurance policies, but you don't have to waste money on something you no longer need.

Habits - If you drink alcohol or smoke, these vices not only affect your health but your budget as well. Live a healthy lifestyle and spend your money on fancy lattes or fancy frozen juice drinks? These costs add up over the course of a year. You can make a significant difference for your budget throughout the year.

Debt - The more long term debt you carry the more money you waste on interest. If you need to use credit cards, make sure you pay them off as soon as possible. The cards are a necessity to maintaining good credit. Don't let the cost of interest tighten the noose on your wallet. It is the same for any alternative money as well. Payday loans or title loans may help in a pinch, but they squeeze any excess or much needed cash out of the budget. It is important to make cutbacks, even if they are temporary in order to keep bad debt out of the monthly budget pool.

Organize your budget. Make the effort to change the way you spend your money, even if it is only temporary. You will find that as you see progress you will want to make the change permanent.