Showing posts with label negative thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative thinking. Show all posts

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Focus On That Which You Want!

It amazes me in a given day the amount of conversations I facilitate regarding the level of confusion people have about why their lives are showing up the way they do! People fundamentally do not realize that they are the creator of their reality, period! What you focus on, on a daily basis, will be directly proportional to what you get back.


Take personal relationships for example.   Doesn't take a rocket scientist that if you continue to make your partner wrong and you will find enough evidence to sink a ship! LOVE is the only premise for personal relationships so why do so many people not focus on LOVE?

Why, because they need to valid their own default (negative listening of themselves and others) and there in lies crutch of the problem.

It intrigues me the degree to which we are not disciplined in what we focus on.   If you want to experience more love in your life, it makes sense that you should focus on only loving thoughts.   9 times out of 10 the expectations you have of another are not known so why on earth do you expect to have your partner, in this case, live up to them when they are not even aware of them?

Why do couples continue to tolerate not living in a harmonious way? Why do we tolerate dis-empowering communication when it is obvious that NO ONE wins in this situation.  So I ask you today that if you are in a relationship that is not working to the degree to which you would like why do you tolerate this?

Here are some standard excuses why people tolerate not improving their relationships:-

Top 10 Key Excuses For Not Improving Relationships - see if any apply to you?

1. It's not the right time
2. If I rock the boat I do not have the financial backing to leave the relationship
3. Marriage is for life, regardless of how bad it gets
4. I am staying because of the children
5. Nothing I try works, and they (the other party) are unwilling to work on the relationship
6. He/She just won't listen
7. I've tried and it doesn't work, eg We tried marriage counseling and it didn't work
8. It's been like this for so long why should I change now - resignation
9. I am fearful of what they will do, I am fearful of the unknown if I was to leave so best to stay with what's known
10. It's not me, they are the ones who are creating the problem/s

News report, if your relationship is not where you want it to be it is because:-

1. You are getting something out of staying in it and it feeds your own negative/default listening of yourself
2. You are not committed to living in a harmonious way, evidence will prove this people! If you were committed to living in a loving relationship you would be in one by now
3. You are fearful of the unknown
4. You tolerate things the way they are because you are stuck in the HOW and are UNWILLING to get the required support to rectify the situation
5. You are definitely not present to the cost of his and or her or your own negative/default behavior, for if you were you would move in a heartbeat!
6. You get to be a victim!   You get mileage out of enrolling people in your life, family, friends, acquaintances about how bad your lot is - very attention seeking
7. You do not believe that things cannot get better because of the years of evidence to the contrary - so beliefs are running the show - fundamentally you are resigned to a new possibility
8. You do not trust your faith, if you did you would not tolerate what you tolerate
9. You get to remain a martyr in your life given the impact your situation has on your own well being
10. You need to validate your own unhealed aspects of yourself by staying in a dysfunctional relationship.

So, what now?   Stand for LOVE, stand for an EXTRAORDINARY relationship, after all what is the point of being in a relationship unless it is EXTRAORDINARY!   If you want assistance with revolutionizing your relationship STOP tolerating what you tolerate.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Anxiety And Panic Attack Treatment - Is Overcoming Shyness And Social Anxiety Possible?

The regular shyness is innate to every person. This is how we were made and there's nothing we can do to eliminate this bodily response. What we can do is to control and overcome it. This can be done by the sheer force of will, determination, and distraction. 


However, people who have extreme shyness often deal with it by succumbing to their private world. 


For some people, being exposed to situations that trigger their shyness, like social functions and gatherings, may become a source of anxiety, and that anxiety can lead to panic attacks. How do you prevent that? Simple! Just find some effective ways for really overcoming shyness—it's all about will.



You're not the center of attention. The issue with shy people is their concerns of embarrassing themselves in front of a crowd. When in social gatherings and you're surrounded by people you don't know, it's important to keep in mind that they have their own businesses and reasons why they are there. They did not turn up because of you, except if you're the host. They most certainly didn't attend to watch your every move and hope that you trip or cause a huge commotion in your corner. In fact, a pack of men grouped in front of you may not even notice that you're there. Realizing that this is true can ease up some of the anxiety of extremely shy people and may even qualify itself as an anxiety and panic attack treatment.


Read:  The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook


Remember that there are other people worse than you in the room. It's a big world and you have high chances of finding someone who suck at socialization harder than you. Sure, that statement is a bit too much on the ugly side but it's true. A large number of people suffer from extreme shyness. Some of them cope with it, others can't. You're not the worst and you can still do something about your case. Having this kind of mindset can increase your confidence. By doing this, you can liberate yourself from a good part of your shyness and some of the anxiety brewing inside whenever attending social gatherings. It can prove to be a useful anxiety and panic attack treatment in the long run, not just something that helped you rid yourself from your shyness.



The person beside you is probably thinking the same as you are. Yes. He or she is shy too. Here's how you do it: stop thinking about yourself. Think that that person is feeling the same way as you are, even worse. Try to introduce yourself. Do it the very first chance you get because the longer you wait, the harder it becomes. Because that particular person is shier than you are (at least that's how you should think), take the initiative to ask the questions so you can start a conversation. Make sure you place complements whenever you think is apt and do listen sincerely with what the person is saying. When you do this, the conversation becomes natural and continuous. Furthermore, you will do that person and yourself a favor by building an atmosphere that can make its way to become an anxiety and panic attack treatment.



If these methods do not work for you, it is probably time that you get additional help and support in overcoming shyness. Perhaps medications will do the job but if you're too skeptical with them, natural treatments are available in the form of programs or courses written in books, e-books and recorded in audio and visual CD. Such a program offers easy to follow methods to cope with such problems. You don't have to relive your past or undergo expensive therapies with it. It will teach you new information on how to solve your problem. It's very straightforward and this is the perfect natural anxiety and panic attack treatment.

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