Focus On That Which You Want!

It amazes me in a given day the amount of conversations I facilitate regarding the level of confusion people have about why their lives are showing up the way they do! People fundamentally do not realize that they are the creator of their reality, period! What you focus on, on a daily basis, will be directly proportional to what you get back.

Take personal relationships for example.   Doesn't take a rocket scientist that if you continue to make your partner wrong and you will find enough evidence to sink a ship! LOVE is the only premise for personal relationships so why do so many people not focus on LOVE?

Why, because they need to valid their own default (negative listening of themselves and others) and there in lies crutch of the problem.

It intrigues me the degree to which we are not disciplined in what we focus on.   If you want to experience more love in your life, it makes sense that you should focus on only loving thoughts.   9 times out of 10 the expectations you have of another are not known so why on earth do you expect to have your partner, in this case, live up to them when they are not even aware of them?

Why do couples continue to tolerate not living in a harmonious way? Why do we tolerate dis-empowering communication when it is obvious that NO ONE wins in this situation.  So I ask you today that if you are in a relationship that is not working to the degree to which you would like why do you tolerate this?

Here are some standard excuses why people tolerate not improving their relationships:-

Top 10 Key Excuses For Not Improving Relationships - see if any apply to you?

1. It's not the right time
2. If I rock the boat I do not have the financial backing to leave the relationship
3. Marriage is for life, regardless of how bad it gets
4. I am staying because of the children
5. Nothing I try works, and they (the other party) are unwilling to work on the relationship
6. He/She just won't listen
7. I've tried and it doesn't work, eg We tried marriage counseling and it didn't work
8. It's been like this for so long why should I change now - resignation
9. I am fearful of what they will do, I am fearful of the unknown if I was to leave so best to stay with what's known
10. It's not me, they are the ones who are creating the problem/s

News report, if your relationship is not where you want it to be it is because:-

1. You are getting something out of staying in it and it feeds your own negative/default listening of yourself
2. You are not committed to living in a harmonious way, evidence will prove this people! If you were committed to living in a loving relationship you would be in one by now
3. You are fearful of the unknown
4. You tolerate things the way they are because you are stuck in the HOW and are UNWILLING to get the required support to rectify the situation
5. You are definitely not present to the cost of his and or her or your own negative/default behavior, for if you were you would move in a heartbeat!
6. You get to be a victim!   You get mileage out of enrolling people in your life, family, friends, acquaintances about how bad your lot is - very attention seeking
7. You do not believe that things cannot get better because of the years of evidence to the contrary - so beliefs are running the show - fundamentally you are resigned to a new possibility
8. You do not trust your faith, if you did you would not tolerate what you tolerate
9. You get to remain a martyr in your life given the impact your situation has on your own well being
10. You need to validate your own unhealed aspects of yourself by staying in a dysfunctional relationship.

So, what now?   Stand for LOVE, stand for an EXTRAORDINARY relationship, after all what is the point of being in a relationship unless it is EXTRAORDINARY!   If you want assistance with revolutionizing your relationship STOP tolerating what you tolerate.

Your Past is Not Your Future

Many persons have had extensive negative experiences throughout their lives. Perhaps they grew up in a divided or troubled family or hung around with the wrong people in the neighborhood when they were growing up.


Some people, unfortunately, go on to commit crimes and are eventually incarcerated for a number of years. Others have experienced physical as well as emotional abuse, depression, or other serious challenges along the way.



Perhaps you have not experienced any of the above, and your life may be relatively peaceful when compared to the above situations. Nevertheless, there is a likely chance that you have faltered in a number of areas up until now, and those failures may have weighed considerably upon you and kept you from realizing your goals.



Many people unfortunately let their past mistakes (as well as past experiences that were outside of their control) determine their present and future experiences. They dwell on the past problems instead of looking for future solutions. Always remember that many people have gone through the same experiences that you have had and have come out on the other side to experience success.



It is crucial that you remember this: where you're headed to is more important than where you've been.



The first step in experiencing real change in your life is to accept responsibility for your actions as difficult as this may be. So many people go through their adult life continuing to make excuses for their mistakes and never accepting complete responsibility as adults. Once you accept responsibility, you'll realize that you have choices to make each and every single day, and these choices will determine the future course of your life.



You may want to deny responsibility so that you don't have to take the blame for your failures. At the same time, accepting responsibility can be scary because there is always the possibility that you will fail in any given endeavor. However, accepting responsibility can also be a liberating and empowering step in your journey towards success.



This is simply because accepting responsibility helps eliminate excuses and all the negative emotions that you may experience when you blame others for your problems. At the same time, it gives you control and allows you to make decisions that will improve your life. You don't need permission from anyone else to begin making the right decisions. This simple truth can be quite liberating and your first step towards success.