Wednesday, August 6, 2014

How to Love Your Life More

How much do you love your life? 


This may be the very first time you have been asked this kind of question, but you should really be asking yourself this every day. Our decisions and choices create the life that we inhabit. It is possible, if you aren't paying attention to where it is all headed, that you may end up in some places you never really intended to go. While you can find no quick fixes, there are a few actions you can take to start your journey of getting back on track to loving your life.



1. Prioritize


In order to love our lives we should be spending a lot of our time and energy on aspects that mean the most to us. Yet often, we make decisions and say "yes" to incidentals that take away our time together with our energy. 


For you to move forward, it may be well to commence by considering what the top 3 priorities in your life actually are. If you answer family, creativity, and adventure, for instance then it could be difficult to love a life where you are doing little more than boring, repetitive tasks, and losing out on important time with your family. Consider whether your life, your career, your home, actually represent you and those things you hold dear?


Get your diary out and be in charge of your schedule. 


Bring what you enjoy into what you do. If you love cooking and you work in an office, bring home-made snacks to work for your colleagues to enjoy. For those who are lacking family time, check if you can manage to free more non-negotiable time to spend with your children and spouse every week. Start with small beginnings. Spend an extra hour every now and then on those things that are important to you. Make your time work for you. 


2. Manage Expectations


So often people make themselves sick with misery because their lives are just not meeting their expectations. Maybe your companion isn't the fairy tale soul mate you always fantasized about. Perhaps your job isn't the career that you envisioned when you were studying. It could be that you are living day to day at an age when you thought you could be financially more independent.


There is no need to reduce your expectations of a happy, full life. But in these situations it's wise to sit down and figure out whether unhappiness is the consequence of a situation that isn't helping you, or if you are comparing your life with an illusion. Accepting people, jobs and life for what they are right now can be a healing experience for many. Your partner, husband or wife may not be the perfect soul mate you dreamed about - but comparing them to someone else will only make you both miserable. 


3. Count What's There - Not What's Missing


Remind yourself about everything that is good in your life. What does your partner do better than anyone else? What does your job provide you that you've stayed on this long? What prompted you to choose this job in the first instance? Some of the best things in life are not the strategies that come to fruition, but the surprises that the process brings with it.


4. Take Time Out


Even if your life is fantastic, each of us needs a break once in a while. You may have a career you love or have a great family, but too much of a good thing can be bad for you. Fatigue sets in, you begin to feel depleted, resentful, and wonder about changing your circumstances. Maybe nothing is wrong with your situation - you just need to stand back and take a breather. 


Research shows that people gain more benefit before their holiday than during or after the holiday. This has led scientists to suggest that anticipation of a holiday can be as important as the holiday itself. Plan and schedule regular vacations, spread out your annual leave to some shorter holidays distributed throughout the year, and get regular mini-breaks such as a night out with friends, weekend camping trips to get a change of scenery, and taking time to just be by yourself and do absolutely nothing at all. 


Time spent alone is important for mental and emotional well-being. Take more control over your daily schedule and arrange for regular alone time. Take yourself on a date to a book shop, do the gardening, go for a run, or embark on an adventure.


5. Find Your Passion


Experiencing passion is an important part of living a contented and meaningful life. Inject passion into every day, even weekdays as you work and don't feel particularly passionate. If you search hard enough, you will always find some aspect to ignite your passion. 


When passion is lacking, it can be re-ignited by your favorite food, taking a course, or a night out with friends. Passion can derive from anywhere - it can be reading, creativity, saving animals, playing sports, your friends, or visiting distant countries. Passion can come from something quite modest, such as drinking a coffee. There is no right or wrong. Notice that evoke true excitement from deep inside you, and also notice what kind of person inspires you.


What famous or notable person do you most wish you could be like? This might be the first step in realizing how to live the life you love. If you really aren't sure what your passions are, start with a fresh slate and learn something you've never tried before. 


Take a course in something you're interested in learning; visit a new town; try some exotic dishes; start meeting new people, or check online and start following blogs on any subjects that interest you. Many of the world's finest chefs, writers, artists, designers, architects, athletes, innovators and entrepreneurs blog regularly about their thoughts, ideas and advice.


6. Learn to Love Yourself 


Discovering a life you love is only possible if you can love yourself. This does not mean arrogance or denying that you've got faults. Loving yourself focuses on being your own best friend, a person who accepts you on both good days, and bad days when things don't go to plan. 


Acknowledge and accept your flaws and shortcomings, but resolve to look after yourself well. You deserve to be loved and treated well, not only by yourself but also by others. You deserve a decent life that makes you happy. Not because you are perfect, but even though you are flawed and human, and even though you may find it difficult at times, you still deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. 


This isn't always easy. We don't necessarily learn to be good to ourselves while growing up. It is a skill that grows with time, and will continue to grow stronger provided we work at it. And the greater amount of love we give to our self, the less we will have to run around fixing problems or finding solutions. Loving your life can become a habit. 


Most importantly, foster an 'attitude of gratitude' for the gift that is your life, and for everything there is in it. It may not be perfect, but it is yours -- and now is the time to live it.