Now that December is almost over, it is time for me to solidify my goals for 2017. As always, I balance and set goals in all areas to maximize my growth as a person and as a professional. I have goals for health that include a targeted lifetime eating plan; goals for my business that emphasize professional growth; goals for creative expression that include writing and photography; goals for relaxation that include travel and a lot more NFL football games!
When it comes to setting and reaching these goals, I use a simple and proven 3 step process that virtually assures that I reach my goals. I'm going to lay it out here as it applies to a financial goal, but recognize that this method applies to the success of reaching ANY goal. Here's what you do:
Secret #1: The first step is to be absolutely precise on the desired goal. While you may have heard this before, it's still amazing that many people I work with don't practice this. For example, I still ask people what their financial goal is and they tell me, "earn more money than I made last year." If you earn $1.50 more in 2017, then you will have reached your goal, won't you?
Instead, you need to know the exact amount. In determining that number, I always look at each month, factor in vacations, holidays, projects, etc., and then I add up each month and come up with an EXACT figure. And then I add 20% more!
Once I have that "stretch goal," I break it down again per month and write each month's specific dollar goal everywhere so I'm looking at it each day of every month. I post it on my desk, in my car, in the bathroom; I know exactly what I'm going to accomplish each and every day.
I also adjust it per my production for that day so it is a fluid and ever changing number. Sometimes the daily amount gets bigger as the week goes on, and sometimes it gets smaller (depending on my production each day). But the point is that it is specific and exact, and I'm always aware of what my daily, monthly and yearly, specific dollar amount goal is for each and every day.
If you haven't done this yet (especially the "add 20%"), then do it before January 1, 2017. You'll be amazed how much this will keep you motivated and into action. And you'll be amazed by your increased production!
Secret #2: Get clear on where every dollar of your income is going to go. Ask yourself: "What am I going to do with all the money I'm going to earn this year?" How much are you going to save by the end of the year? How much debt are you going to pay off? Are you going to buy a new car? Pay for your kid's education? How much do you have budgeted for vacation? How about taxes? How about retirement?
These are just some of the questions you need to get in the habit of asking yourself this month, and you need to be completely clear on exactly where each dollar is going and where you're going to be financially by the end of 2017. Having this kind of clarity and purpose helps keep you focused and disciplined, and it has a magical effect on how the Universe helps you accomplish your specific financial goal.
Now I know that things come up, but when you have every dollar accounted for, you'll be amazed at how you can earn extra money to handle the unexpected. That's just how it works. But I have found that when I'm crystal clear on how much I'm going to earn and what I'm going to accomplish as a result of it, my focus is razor sharp and I remain motivated each and every day.
In addition, when you know why you're working so hard and what for, you're ready to put secret number three into effect:
Secret #3: Once you are clear on your exact financial goal and know what you are going to get as a result of it, you can now practice one of the most important parts of any goal accomplishment: acting as if you've already attained your goal. If you've ever read any book on the Law of Attraction, then you know all about the importance of accepting and believing on a subconscious level that you already have what it is you're trying to accomplish.
The Law is simple: the Universe responds to what you feel and believe to be true. If you think you're broke or that your territory is poor or that you can't do something, then you'll find evidence to support your belief and you'll act (or not act!) accordingly. If you believe the opposite, then you'll find a way to keep taking actions to accomplish what you believe is possible, and the Universe will provide you with the opportunities to confirm what you believe.
But the key is to believe it has already happened. By acting as if you are already the top producer at your company, or by going to sleep at night already feeling the feelings of having accomplished your goal, you'll act like a magnet for the success you've already determined is yours.
By acting as if you've accomplished your goal, you'll automatically and easily take the actions necessary to achieve them. Suddenly it will be "like you" to come in earlier, to make more calls, to qualify better, etc. I have found that acting as if is the most important thing I have ever done to catapult me into new earning levels and new conditions in my life.
And I have found that it ALWAYS works. Whether I believe I can or I can't, I'm always right.
There are lots of ways to achieve the "being state" of acting, feeling and experiencing your success in advance, but my favorite is to write and read affirmations that are rich in feeling and emotion. There are many books out there that will teach you how to do that, and I recommend you invest in them today.
The bottom line is that when you follow these three secrets to successful goal attainment, you will become unstoppable. There will no longer be road blocks, and no outside element will ever permanently get in the way of your accomplishing any goal you'll set. You see, there is always a way to achieve anything you can dream of. And if you're absolutely clear on what it is, know exactly why you're going for it, and can feel and live as if you've already accomplished it, then nothing can stop you from attaining it.
I encourage you to use this month to put these secrets into your goal planning for 2017. If you do, then next year at this time you will be reaching for even more aggressive goals because you'll have discovered the real secrets to performance in life.
All the best for 2017!
In today's fast-paced world, lots of people have a problem with meeting their personal or professional objectives.
They are told to go back to the drawing board and come up with schedules.
However, what individuals forget to realize is that no matter how complex the timetable is, should they do not have the will to follow along with it, then it serves no purpose.
A lot of people have problems with procrastination, which is the malady which has held many gifted folks back from reaching their goals.
Just about the most effective ways to handle procrastination would be to prioritize your work from the most significant, to the least important. Read on and learn how to overcome procrastination and how to make the most of your time.
It is because they are sensitive and may require you to spend more time and pay much more attention doing them. Although you ultimately want to accomplish all of the tasks within this list, there are going to be some that are more time sensitive or important than the others. Begin with the most crucial ones and move the right path down. Furthermore, you should also attack your list by starting with items that are interrelated.
Read: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
When you take on similar tasks at the same time, you'll end up spending less time overall then if you had taken them on at separate times. Because of this you should first do an assessment of all the jobs before you do any.
You should also ensure that you fully grasp your time constraints. The reason most people end up procrastinating is the fact that they overestimate the time they have to conduct a particular task. In the same vein, you should allocate time to every activity, know the time available and then how to proceed.
This gives you the earliest expertise in what you can do and that which you are not able to do. This cushions you from establishing overambitious agendas that you are not able to keep. If you find that you could have overestimated the time you might have, quickly readjust your routine and do what you can do in the remaining time.
Finally, make use of the multiple reminders available such as alarms to track your progress and get away from any backsliding into procrastination once more so that you figure out how to get motivated more easily. With so many electronics on the market now, it should be quite easy to evaluate how you're progressing from time to time. Finding the time to put these alarms in place will help you to improve your speed or even change your schedule to make the most out of the time you have.
What defines most procrastinators is the fact that they always quit every time they sense failure. Despite your inability to keep your initial strategy, you must do all in your ability to reap the most out of the rest of the time. For instance, if your plans entailed going to the bank, finishing up with a book you were reading and then carrying out laundry, you may run out of time before you fit everything in.
In short, you do not achieve because you're the perfect person. It is simply your ability to accomplish much using the time and resources accessible to you.
Have you ever listened to a motivating speaker, felt motivated to make a change in one or more aspects of your life as a result, but then failed to take action upon leaving the conference room or auditorium?
Unfortunately, this scenario is all too common.
Read: Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us
Consider this; every year on January 1st millions of people outline a list of goals they intend to achieve for the New Year. Yet, all too few accomplish their goals. Why is this?
You cannot achieve your goals and dreams unless you get started. Newton's Law of Motion certainly rings true when it comes to motivation; bodies at rest tend to stay at rest. Getting started is often the largest hurdle for most people to overcome. However, once you begin a project, initiate an idea or take action steps, most people stay the course and accomplish their goal.
How do the most successful people get motivated, and remain motivated? The answer is simple -- commitment. Well, at least that's part of the answer.
The other parts of the answer involve going after the right goals or targets, having a realistic game plan, maintaining a connection to the established goals, and simply having fun during the process.
Does your Goal Pass the Acid Test?
When you consider your goals and dreams, how badly do you want to achieve them? Are you willing to do just about anything to accomplish them? This is the real acid test. Or, are they merely things that you would just like to accomplish? Herein lies the difference between goals and dreams.
If items on your to-do list, would like to have list, or goals and dreams list don't really matter enough to you at the end of the day, you aren't going to be really motivated to press on come hell or high water and accomplish what you need to. So, review your list of goals to see if they pass the acid test. Shorten your list to only those items that pass. Then, commit yourself to working through the process.
Visualization
There's a reason professional athletes spend a great deal of time before a game, match or event visualizing. They are focusing on not only accomplishing their goal of winning, but on how they will feel as a result.
Spend time considering what your goals look like? How will you feel the moment that you accomplish them? Who will you celebrate with? And what are the actual benefits or rewards that will accompany this success?
Visualization allows you to feel connected to your goals. And it can build the confidence needed to take that first step.
Defining a Realistic Game Plan
Now that you have identified what your 'actual' goals might be and have visualized what it will be like to achieve them, it's time to determine the steps you need and intend to take. Outline specific action steps and completion dates. This is where so many fail. When defining your plan of action, you must consider what you will accomplish and by what date; otherwise, your goal is simply a dream.
When defining deliverable dates, be realistic. Set milestones that you can actually accomplish. Setting unrealistic goals is a recipe for disaster. In addition to the ultimate completion date, be sure to insert short term milestones to work as check-points.
For example, if one of your goals is to lose 15 pounds this year, you will first want to break this goal down into bite sized chunks (1 lb. at a time). Establish quarterly weigh in points. After each weigh-in, track your progress against your larger goal. Post your progress in an area that you will see daily for additional motivation; your bedroom, bathroom mirror or refrigerator. If you are on track, reward yourself. If you aren't on track, take corrective action.
Have Fun with Rewards
If one or more of your goals are long-term, it can be challenging to stay focused over the entire time period. Shorter milestone check-points will provide you with realistic targets where you can check-in to see how you are faring against goal. When you are on track, reward yourself.
Rewards don't have to be monumental in order to be effective. They must simply represent something of value or personal enjoyment. Treats if you are on a diet, the purchase of a much coveted item, a massage or a night out are simple examples of potential rewards. Your rewards need to be personal and meaningful to you personally in order to motivate you.
Be Flexible
If you get off track during your journey, allow yourself the flexibility to modify your plan. Sometimes you need to adjust the goal. Don't beat yourself up -- learn from the experience, make the necessary adjustments, and get back on track.
Ask for Help
One of the most motivating things can be encouragement from someone you respect, trust, or love. Share your goals with a mentor, family member or friend and ask them to assist you along your journey. Check in with them and give them permission to hold you accountable.
External motivation is often readily available; speakers, a book or a favorite song or tune. Motivating yourself requires focus, dedication and commitment. If you have identified the right goals, formulated a realistic plan and utilize tools along the way, your chances of achieving your goals will be powerfully increased.
Do Emotions Control Your Life?
To a certain degree, yes I do think that emotions can control your life and for many people, they are also running their lives. Emotions are pre-determined and they make us human. Some people think that you can merely ignore your emotions or even worse, try eliminate all emotion from their life!
The problem with this belief is that no matter what you try to do, no matter how hard you try to suppress the way you feel, your emotions will always win. They are banging on the door of your mind. The more you try to ignore it, the louder and louder they bang and the harder and harder they pound. This is where some people will inevitably bottle up these emotions until they explode and depending on their personality type, each person will respond in a different way, none of which are particularly pretty to witness. Some time ago, there was a lady who knew her husband was cheating on her, she knew and remained silent for the good of her kids, but also because she was so scared to lose him. The longer and longer this went on, the more and more it became apparent that the cycle of endless cheating would not end. More than a year down the line, she could not take being hurt any longer and just up and left.
Now why did this happen? Simple, she bottled up all the emotions that she had, which she subsequently decided to ignore. Emotions are not something that should be considered as a weakness or a negative thing, they are there to serve as a warning that one or more of your beliefs and life rules have been violated. This woman never pulled her husband up on the belief that he was cheating. If she had, she may well have found that actually, the husband was not cheating on her at all, he was working another job just to feed their family.
Now there was clearly a big issue with communication, as a matter of fact there was no communication and this was a big part of the problem. However this is not something that I will cover in this article. The point here is that emotions can not only be warning signs, they can be felt by people as a result of some one's perception of a particular situation, even if the situation is being perceived completely wrong. This lady took her husband's absence as a violation of her own rules, perceiving it to be that he didn't care about her or want to be with her, she then created a story in her mind as to why he wasn't spending time with her and showing her that he still cared, when really he was just incredibly burnt out.
Now, emotions serve as a very useful tool for anyone trying to improve the quality of their own life, their business, and their relationships, so let's take a brief look at the 10 emotions I Believe to be directly responsible for the quality of one's life.
The 10 Emotions
Discomfort - this is not an extreme emotion but will leave you feeling uneasy feeling as if something is not quite "right"
Fear - this is possibly one of the most useful as it is a clear warning sign for us. Scared, frightened, are words that could be used to described this emotion
Hurt - this could be when someone violates one of your rules that you live life by, this can also be linked to a feeling of loss, which could be tangible or intangible, depending on the situation that can caused this emotion
Anger - being enraged, livid and aggressive, this emotion can be the most externally shown emotion and can take many people by surprise through the actions of the person experiencing it
Frustration - this is an emotion that entrepreneurs and business people often experience and can stop even the most dedicated people in their tracks. This can be altered to serve you in your endeavours as with the other emotions which I will explain shortly.
Disappointment - a feeling of not quite making it, not performing at best or being let down are often used to describe this emotion.
Guilt - This is an emotion that you must act on quickly if you can to stop it from growing root. Sometimes this may not be possible because it has been left too long already, but this can potentially be another devastating emotion if people do not control it.
Inadequacy - the feeling of not being as good as the next person, not as smart, not as strong, not an equal.
Being overwhelmed/Depressed - sometimes people go into a state whereby they describe themselves as being depressed and overloaded in their life, it can also be a pre cursor to the next emotion
Loneliness - The last emotion is that of being lonely, you may feel like the walls are closing in, nobody is there to help you or talk to you. A feeling of being completely on your own can be horrible, especially as we humans are very social creatures and as such, we need connection and love from time to time
Master Your Time, Master Your Life - Discover the breakthrough system to get more results, faster, in every area of your life at BrianTracy.com. Get the FREE First Chapter - Download Now!
How to Utilize Your Emotions
So now you understand the 10 emotions, how do you go about changing them to help you create a better standard of life and increase your own happiness? There are two ways in which you can do this, changing either your perception of your emotion, or changing the situation you are in. For example if you are running your own business and all of a sudden the demand for your products takes a nosedive. You may well have emotions of fear, discomfort, anger, frustration, you could be feeling a number of different emotions depending on your past references and experiences and your own personality type.
So you have these feelings, but remember, they are there to serve you, they are telling you that you need to change the way you are looking at it and perceiving it, or you need to change the situation that you are in. In this case you could first change the perception of the situation and instead of looking at the sudden lack of demand as a bad thing, you can turn it around and say that now you know that demand is shifting so you may need to consider altering the product, changing the product or even the way that it is marketed. This way you will turn it around and potentially make an even bigger profit than before. Notice that after changing your perception, you are then already ready to change the situation that you are in.This may not be the case for every situation, so you need to be mindful as to what you are feeling and what is causing the emotion, then act accordingly to make that shift and change the quality of your life for the better.
Attend Tony Robbins Live | "Unleash the Power Within" | Los Angeles, CA | March 23-26, 2017 
Let's face it. There are only two ways to approach life. You either honor the fears in your life, or you love your life. You see, the opposite of fear is love. If you honor the fears in your life, these 5 fear based emotions will destroy you. What do you honor?
1. Anger. Do you know anyone that is always angry? These people are angry at everyone. They are angry at their spouse, angry at their children, angry at their co-workers, angry at the traffic, angry at the long lines they are standing in, angry, angry, angry.
I know a few people like that, do you? Have you ever thought to yourself, 'I wonder why that person is so angry?'
I know I have. One person in particular comes to mind. With this particular person, my opinion is that this anger derives from feeling a lack of control. I was always taught that if you have a need to be in control, then you are out of control.
But make no mistake, anger definitely comes from living in fear. Maybe that person is fearful of losing a business, or losing an income, or losing a person in their life, or whatever.
Read: Change Your Brain, Change Your Life (Revised and Expanded): The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Lack of Focus, Anger, and Memory Problems
2. Jealousy. Aah, the 'ole jealousy emotion. This is by far the biggest destroyer of them all. Excuse me here, but I have to relate this fear based emotion to relationships, more specifically a sexual based relationship. After all, the most powerful emotion since the beginning of mankind is sex.
If you suffer from severe jealousy of a spouse or partner, you need to take a closer look at yourself. To overcome jealousy you have to overcome your own shortcomings. The way I look at it, jealousy is a fear of being out of control. You can't control if someone cheats in a relationship anyway, if they are going to cheat you can't stop it, so don't fret it. And again, a need to be in control means you are out of control.
3. Resentment. Carrying around resentment, in my opinion, comes from a failure to communicate and/or express your expectations of another. Once again, I know a particular person that carries around loads of resentment for family members. This person expects certain business family members to perform certain tasks, and when they fall short, resentment explodes. The fact of the matter is that this family member that falls short of expectations doesn't even know that task or tasks was expected of them in the first place. A classic case of miscommunication.
Resentment is totally created by the person carrying it. It takes loads of energy to carry around resentment. Refocus that energy in a focus, productive way and just let go of this crippling emotion.
4. Anxiety. We all have felt this type of emotion in some way, shape, form or fashion. Feeling anxious begins at an early age. You are anxious because you don't want to be late for school, or you don't want to miss the bus, or you have to be home at a certain time, or a certain project is approaching a deadline, and on and on.
Feeling anxious, in my opinion, results from trying to meet certain expectations of others. To relieve this emotion, simply replace your expectation or the expectations of others, with an aspiration. You simply aspire to do your best. You aspire to be on time. You aspire to perform at your highest level. When you aspire and not expect you are not disappointed, and your anxiety will fade.
5. Insecurity. The emotion of feeling insecure affects millions. Feeling insecure in your relationships, your finances, your marriage, your job, etc. A lack of self-esteem combined with a poor self-image is a major factor in feeling insecure. How do you overcome feeling insecure? My rule of thumb was always 'just go to work'. Work hard, aspire to do your best, and let the chips fall where they may. When you have a 'hard work attitude' combined with an aspiration to do your best, you self-image will increase dramatically.
Do you suffer from any of these 5 fear based emotions? Remember, the opposite of fear is love. Love casts out fear. So, try loving more and letting go of fear. You will see a dramatic effect in your life and your business.
There is one universal rule in life, you learn from your failures, or you let it destroy you. You can look at every time you mess up either as a way of proving that you are never going to succeed, or you can look at it as another opportunity to better yourself. Every time you fail at something, how do you look at the situation? Do you say to yourself that this is just another failure and you are one less failure away from succeeding, or do you moan and wine about how nothing comes right in your life?
How do you hold yourself when things get hard? This is the question that every person should ask themselves because quite often they realize that they are just moaning for the sake of moaning. It's hard, life is hard and you have to accept that, nothing is going to get handed to you, you have to get your head down and grind never looking back at your failures because you cannot travel to road to success when you are looking behind you. When you drive your car, you don't look at your rear view mirror constantly when you're going forward, so why would you do it in your life?
Some of the most successful people on this planet have failed more times than you have had hot dinners. They unlike the general population figured out a long time ago that progress is made through failure, Life isn't a marathon of just ups, and it's formulated through failure, through getting slapped around a lot and getting told no on numerous occasions.
If there is a major goal of yours that you are trying to reach and you fail many many times, just look at it as if you are eventually going to run out of things that don't work, so inevitably you are going to find something that does work.
Read: The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy
Fail and fail forward
Let me give you a classic example of someone who overcame the odds in his life. This kid, he didn't do well at school, he was classed as being slow eligible mentally retarded and as such, he was said to be slowing down the betterment of his classmates. His parents took him out of school and put him to work but he kept getting fired from each job that he took on. Then eventually he found his calling, something that inspired him to be someone, someone who would later be of great significance to the modern world. He burned the candle both ends, experimenting and experimenting, this is a guy who failed at everything in his life.
Another Great Read: The Compound Effect
He failed on one experiment over 10,000 times, when do you fail at something that many times and still carry on? Well this guy did, he didn't give up and kept on failing again and again and again until eventually the light bulb lit up. That was Thomas Edison, inventor of the incandescent light, something that is regarded as must have in these modern times. He created something incredible, something special through pure failure, all because that was his vision and that's what he wanted, but more importantly he knew failure was going to equal success if he kept on pounding at the door.
It doesn't matter what you're trying to do, whether it's coming back from a seemingly untreatable injury, battling with long term back pain, reach a pinnacle point in your life or whatever it is, you have to lay the foundations for a strong positive mental attitude. You have to cultivate the love of failure, knowing that it's not forever, unless you give up that is.If you can learn to see every failure as a blessing and as a stepping stone to success, then you will fail a lot in your life, but fail towards your ultimate goal.
What pulls you, drives you, pushes you?
It might seem like the people around us are very polarized -- some people want to make a difference to the environment, while others want to retire at 50 -- but research shows that humans are actually much more complex and multifaceted than this.
It isn't just one thing that motivates and allows us to make that motivation breakthrough, but many things all at once. Researchers have narrowed down the many motivators to a few distinct categories. If you want to get to that motivation place within, then here are a few pointers that will aid in your self help motivation.
Read: Make it Happen: Surrender Your Fear. Take the Leap. Live On Purpose.
Goal Setting
Setting goals can improve motivation and get you moving. But when setting goals make sure they feel achievable, realistic, and that they really do motivate you. Improving your average sale at work may not push your buttons, though it looks good on a resume -- so what does push your buttons? Saving up for a holiday to Fiji? Taking art classes at night?
These sorts of goals might inspire you to push your average sale up, for example, more than just focusing on improving your work performance.
Goals should feel exciting. They are tied in with your dreams you have for your future. If, however, you find that your goal setting is too daunting or feels to difficult, you may have overreached what you feel is capable and achievable. Instead of writing a novel, maybe just start with a short story.
Then work your way up to 5 stories. Once you have completed 10 stories, even if it takes a whole year, writing a novel may not freak you out. It will probably feel more achievable by then.
Understanding Your Drives
According to a study published by the Incentive Research Foundation in 2011, there are four basic drives that determine human motivation: acquiring, comprehending, bonding and defending.
Acquiring is about the tangible benefits we can gain e.g. money, skills, training, promotions, respect, etc.
Comprehending has to do with doing something we feel is meaningful, such as working with complex ideas, creativity, or participating in a job that makes a difference to the world. Bonding all about friendship, camaraderie, and social connection.
Defending takes into account issues around fairness and justice -- we are more motivated to work with and for people who treat us (and others) well, than those who treat us (and others) unfairly.
While some people may feel they lean more towards one drive than another, the studies show humans actually need a balance of all four areas. Failing in one area can negatively impact how we feel about all other areas. When you achieve a holistic balance of all four drives, you naturally access that motivation place within, make that motivation breakthrough, and become highly motivated.
Read: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable
Teaming Up
Setting goals, chanting affirmations, working on projects -- it all helps, but sometimes you just need a bit more external support.
Some of us thrive from working alone, the triumph is all the more great once you reach the finish line all by yourself. But some of us are team players. Support, camaraderie, creative collaboration -- working with others brings a lot to our lives and the things we are trying so desperately to achieve.
If you are not sure what you prefer, just try it. Invite someone to collaborate on a project, partner up with some like-minded colleagues, or join a group. Not only does this sort of networking provide you wish fresh perspectives and ideas, it also provides accountability. Tell people about your goals and projects.
It can really motivate you to know that someone supports your dreams, and is cheering you on.
Conserving Energy
Increasing motivation is hard when you are tired. Often people are hard-working and dedicated to their goals. But dedication can lead to fatigue, if you don't pace yourself and self-manage your energy output. Even when you love what you do, even when you feel happy and excited, the mind and body need to rest.
Being "on" all the time, or worse, experiencing chronic stress, can lead to fatigue and exhaustion that feels as if it leeches into every part of life. At this point, you need to be realistic. It is hard to be motivated if you have pushed your system too hard.
To increase your motivation, the best thing you can do is take time out and re-fuel. Take a break from your goals, take a break even from your career or job, just for a little while, if it is possible.
People who care about you always want to help out. Ask those around you to share the load, so you can get away for a while. Ask yourself how long -- you know the answer. One weekend? A week? A month?
Soon as you get the rest you need, being motivated and enthusiastic about your goals becomes a whole lot easier.
Sometimes even the most sociable and outgoing people suffer their moments of shyness and self doubt. But if you're someone who always feels this way, then it's time you took action.
If you regularly feel uncomfortable and uncertain in social situations, it can be a crippling and frustrating experience. You want to be more social, but you just can't do it.
The good news is that being more social is something that you can work on improving. Check out the following tips on how to do it.
*** Practice Makes Perfect
Yes, that old saying is still true. With anything in life, the more you do it, the easier and more natural it becomes. The same is true for being more social. It might feel difficult or really frightening at first, but with practice it will slowly become easier and less scary until it becomes surprisingly easy.
The first step to becoming more social is to commit to doing it. This doesn't mean that you have to put yourself completely out of your comfort zone right away, but it does mean that you need to put yourself out there little by little and as often as possible.
'Everything is practice.' -- Peleacute;
*** Change Your Attitude
Many "antisocial" people can be quite critical and negative of both themselves and others. They are antisocial because they are fearful of being judged by others, but at the same time, they are often harsh critics of others.
If you find yourself being critical of others and of yourself, it's important to recognize this and to do some work on changing your attitude. Instead of focusing on the negative in a person, try to actively identify positive things. Do your best to be more open to situations and people. Don't assume that you know everything about everyone based on minor interactions.
'Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.' -- Winston Churchill
*** Accept That It's Not All About You
Many shy people feel so self conscious because they are constantly worried that everyone is looking at, judging, or watching them.
Read: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
Generally, people are much too wrapped up in their own lives and concerns to notice too much about what is going on with another person. Most people are usually too busy worrying about themselves and their own lives than to be spending a lot of time judging you.
'At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all.' -- Ann Landers
*** Make a Change Plan
How are you going to work on being more social?
Start with small steps. Strike up conversations with the people you interact with on a daily basis. It could be the cashier from the supermarket, the person you buy your lunch from, or a coworker you always see in the break room.
Spend time with your more social friends. Force yourself to do things with them that you wouldn't normally do. They are your friends, so they will be there to support you if you start feeling insecure or alone. When you are invited to do something, accept the invitation. Don't let yourself make up a lot of excuses about why you can't. You really can change, so make a change plan, and stick to it!
'The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.'
-- Alan W. Watts
*** Work With a Therapist, Counselor, or Life-Coach
Turning to a professional can really accelerate your social progress. An experienced therapist, counselor, or coach can help you overcome your difficulty and make being more social much easier. With the right therapist, you might be surprised at how rapidly this can be accomplished.
In the end being more social really is down to you and your commitment to making it work. Think about the hardest thing you have ever learned to do. At first it might have seemed impossible, but each time you did it, it got easier and easier. Becoming more social works in a similar way.
Take small steps every day and in no time you'll be a much more sociable person, and feel a whole lot happier for it!
