Saturday, March 4, 2017

Focus On That Which You Want!

It amazes me in a given day the amount of conversations I facilitate regarding the level of confusion people have about why their lives are showing up the way they do! People fundamentally do not realize that they are the creator of their reality, period! What you focus on, on a daily basis, will be directly proportional to what you get back.


Take personal relationships for example.   Doesn't take a rocket scientist that if you continue to make your partner wrong and you will find enough evidence to sink a ship! LOVE is the only premise for personal relationships so why do so many people not focus on LOVE?

Why, because they need to valid their own default (negative listening of themselves and others) and there in lies crutch of the problem.

It intrigues me the degree to which we are not disciplined in what we focus on.   If you want to experience more love in your life, it makes sense that you should focus on only loving thoughts.   9 times out of 10 the expectations you have of another are not known so why on earth do you expect to have your partner, in this case, live up to them when they are not even aware of them?

Why do couples continue to tolerate not living in a harmonious way? Why do we tolerate dis-empowering communication when it is obvious that NO ONE wins in this situation.  So I ask you today that if you are in a relationship that is not working to the degree to which you would like why do you tolerate this?

Here are some standard excuses why people tolerate not improving their relationships:-

Top 10 Key Excuses For Not Improving Relationships - see if any apply to you?

1. It's not the right time
2. If I rock the boat I do not have the financial backing to leave the relationship
3. Marriage is for life, regardless of how bad it gets
4. I am staying because of the children
5. Nothing I try works, and they (the other party) are unwilling to work on the relationship
6. He/She just won't listen
7. I've tried and it doesn't work, eg We tried marriage counseling and it didn't work
8. It's been like this for so long why should I change now - resignation
9. I am fearful of what they will do, I am fearful of the unknown if I was to leave so best to stay with what's known
10. It's not me, they are the ones who are creating the problem/s

News report, if your relationship is not where you want it to be it is because:-

1. You are getting something out of staying in it and it feeds your own negative/default listening of yourself
2. You are not committed to living in a harmonious way, evidence will prove this people! If you were committed to living in a loving relationship you would be in one by now
3. You are fearful of the unknown
4. You tolerate things the way they are because you are stuck in the HOW and are UNWILLING to get the required support to rectify the situation
5. You are definitely not present to the cost of his and or her or your own negative/default behavior, for if you were you would move in a heartbeat!
6. You get to be a victim!   You get mileage out of enrolling people in your life, family, friends, acquaintances about how bad your lot is - very attention seeking
7. You do not believe that things cannot get better because of the years of evidence to the contrary - so beliefs are running the show - fundamentally you are resigned to a new possibility
8. You do not trust your faith, if you did you would not tolerate what you tolerate
9. You get to remain a martyr in your life given the impact your situation has on your own well being
10. You need to validate your own unhealed aspects of yourself by staying in a dysfunctional relationship.

So, what now?   Stand for LOVE, stand for an EXTRAORDINARY relationship, after all what is the point of being in a relationship unless it is EXTRAORDINARY!   If you want assistance with revolutionizing your relationship STOP tolerating what you tolerate.

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